I slept in today. Best damn sleep I've ever got. I'm off to cram for tomorrow.

He asked if I was afraid; no I wasn't. I was terrified. Why, he asked. He needed to ask. Why? Because there was someone else. Someone else I couldn't forget. Someone who speaks like him. Who walks like him. Whose manners were to be challenged against him. He was a saint. And so was he. And I fell like I'd never fell before. I fell so hard, I hit rock bottom. And it hurt so bad. It hurt so freakin bad, I didn't want to turn back. And now he arrives, identical in action, spoken words and undoubted mannerism. And I guarded myself, against him, against everyone- against my feelings. I built a wall- one so thick, I myself didn't have that much in me to make it crumble. But he did. He became my wall. He became nocturnal. Because he spoke to himself, at night. He spoke to himself saying he'd do the best he could. And he'd be the best for me. Best. For me. And he reassured himself. I pushed him away, maybe. Or maybe I strengthened him. He's at his breaking point. He's at his limit. I'm still afraid; terrified.

This has got nothing to do with me. I just had this inside my head for the past three weeks and can never get it out unless I pen it down. This shows that I'm still able to compose a decent piece of work. And I hope to hell and beyond, inspiration- and writing skills- lasts until after my O's. Then I can go watch High Kick- HOHOHO, bitchessssss.

As humans, we're judgmental. And I have to admit that I'm a very judgmental person. I think it's justified for me to be so, since everyone else seem to pass comments like rain drops. Endlessly, ceaselessly. People might say that, "Hey, why're you so influenced by what others say." Then I think to myself, "Hey, why do I have to be influenced by what you say?" Because our lives are based on others. We inter-depend in order to live, and through people, we make judgments. Be it good or bad, those judgments make who we are. Like when I say I hate Twilight and I have no interest what-so-ever in the Jonas Brothers. Those are my judgments. But no. I don't hate them. In fact, I sing along to Justin Bieber. It's so much better to be indifferent than to hate. Because when you hate, you have to put this certain amount of energy and feeling to do so. I'm not gonna sacrifice myself for hating someone, it won't benefit me. I whine, I cry, I say the meanest things. But that doesn't accumulate to hate. It accumulates to what I feel. At that time, in that hour, on that day. And our views change. And it's not wrong for it to change. I like the band HIM because they make more than just quality music. When I first stumbled on them, Ville Valo was ugly as fuck. The first music video I saw of them was Join Me (In Death)- and oh, the androgyny. Gimme some credit, I was what, twelve, thirteen at that time? That's judgment. And I started liking Nightwish because Amaranth was a great song. I'm an Anette Era fan, and I respect Tarja. They're both great singers, but they're not of the same genre. Why judge? Because we're human. Then I started listening to k-pop when Secondary Three rolled along. Because why? Because Sorry, Sorry became an anthem to my class, along with 3OH!3's Don't Touch Me. And I've to admit, the only reason why I like Kim Heechul was because he was androgynous. When in real fact, I'm afraid to go near those kind of people. Because they're very unsure, and that makes me unsure. Then I stumble upon comments saying that, "G-Dragon is the best composer ever." And to me, people who say that have probably been living under a rock before k-pop. I like korean music. But in terms of being a good lyricist or composer, come on, they're so far off. That's like comparing Justin Bieber to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Difference. But then again, this is my judgment. No, I don't enjoy music from Slipknot, nor do I fancy too much the screaming of Dani Fiflth- but God, they're genius, talented people. But what is talent? That's left to be judged.

And I apply what is easier to comprehend to daily life. It's so easy to judge based on expressions, the sneaking corners of devious eyes and noise. So easy to judge. And yet, when I claim to hate someone, that person would turn out to be the nicest thing ever. I have friends like that, and some have become my closest and dearest. I hated them. I despised them. Because of what they did, how they acted, how they change. And somehow, I don't realize that I've changed. So it was only worthy of me to give people chances when others have given in my every woe. We can't trust word of mouth but we trust ourselves in judging body language. And by trusting that, we get all our facts mixed up. But we're human that way, and we find the best in people. Even though they seem to annoy you the hardest, how they never seem to take you seriously, the awkward moments we sometimes share. I hate those moments. But at the end of the day, I know that they've been keeping up with how annoying, loud and indifferent I could be about their feelings.
6Packs, I owe you.

I feel obligated. HAHA. I've been spending too much time on tumblr and abandoning blogspot. Nothing much has been happening, aside from someone getting engaged and another getting hitched. Too many people are getting married this season, and sadly, I don't think I can attend my aunt's wedding dinner. But last week's engagement party was a blast, I've to say that. Yeah, it was hella fun. I've gotten closer to people whom I previously thought was impossible to get close to. But alas, they're family and we have the same genes. So what I'm trying to say is that we're all awesome in our own respective, quirky way and we'll get along. Somehow.

I stole that.

Wow, I miss being on holiday. Nothing's really been going on, except for a couple misses. My cousin's getting engaged this coming Saturday and I can't wait to get together with the family again. It's always instances like this when I say what I've said, yet on the day itself, I feel that my legs are so heavy that I don't wanna go. This is why Hari Raya was invented. -Okay, I lie. But true to what I say, that's what happens every time. But I reflect and I get that, every time I come home from a family gathering, I feel happy, complete. And I realize that that's how strong family could be.

I had tuition earlier on in the week, and my eldest Uncle told me that he was going to Terengganu. Well, in his own words, it was, "I'm going to Terengganu to watch Ninja Turtle." I LOL-ed so hard. Get this, he's seventy, and with the tone of voice he spoke with, mygod, he rocks. I hope they have a safe trip, along with my cousin/tuition teacher who's doing humanitarian work in Cambodia.

HAHA, Cambodia. Doesn't that remind you of someone.

The outing with the chicks was way beyond awesome. This is probably the third 6packs official outing and we went to see Killers. Honestly, I could see why critics said that the movie lacked originality because it was as cliche as it could get. But it's a chick-flick and we are chicks. And plus, Ashton Kutcher was steaming up the screens. And that had a lasting effect on Hanisah as she transformed into Nyssa Kutcher on twitter. Which sucks, because everyone knows that he belongs to me and only me. 

Again I say, let the arguing commence.

I procrastinated so hard yesterday that it seemed as if I procrastinated my procrastination- ._. facebook group. But yeah. Plan was to finish up as much homework as possible and revise my chemistry. 1/4 of that happened as I started flipping like crazy through my Chem notes half an hour before I went to bed. The rest of the day, I wrote. Which I thoroughly enjoyed. I took the whole day to finish up what was left of the story I cliff-hanged. Actually, it was a oneshot and no, I didn't cliff-hanged it. It was just left from two months ago because I simply didn't have the time. I wanna commit to writing, but I find it so hard. Now I have the time- per se- and I'm bloody hell using it to the optimum. I'm done with it. And guess what; it's a Suju story.

You were probably expecting me to say that it was an original drabble or a Ville Valo. Hah, suck on that.

Wow, I think I got sucked into Italian hotness. You know, that dude that performed on Entertainment on Five? -Yeah. Super. Hot.

I slept in today. Best damn sleep I've ever got. I'm off to cram for tomorrow.

He asked if I was afraid; no I wasn't. I was terrified. Why, he asked. He needed to ask. Why? Because there was someone else. Someone else I couldn't forget. Someone who speaks like him. Who walks like him. Whose manners were to be challenged against him. He was a saint. And so was he. And I fell like I'd never fell before. I fell so hard, I hit rock bottom. And it hurt so bad. It hurt so freakin bad, I didn't want to turn back. And now he arrives, identical in action, spoken words and undoubted mannerism. And I guarded myself, against him, against everyone- against my feelings. I built a wall- one so thick, I myself didn't have that much in me to make it crumble. But he did. He became my wall. He became nocturnal. Because he spoke to himself, at night. He spoke to himself saying he'd do the best he could. And he'd be the best for me. Best. For me. And he reassured himself. I pushed him away, maybe. Or maybe I strengthened him. He's at his breaking point. He's at his limit. I'm still afraid; terrified.

This has got nothing to do with me. I just had this inside my head for the past three weeks and can never get it out unless I pen it down. This shows that I'm still able to compose a decent piece of work. And I hope to hell and beyond, inspiration- and writing skills- lasts until after my O's. Then I can go watch High Kick- HOHOHO, bitchessssss.

As humans, we're judgmental. And I have to admit that I'm a very judgmental person. I think it's justified for me to be so, since everyone else seem to pass comments like rain drops. Endlessly, ceaselessly. People might say that, "Hey, why're you so influenced by what others say." Then I think to myself, "Hey, why do I have to be influenced by what you say?" Because our lives are based on others. We inter-depend in order to live, and through people, we make judgments. Be it good or bad, those judgments make who we are. Like when I say I hate Twilight and I have no interest what-so-ever in the Jonas Brothers. Those are my judgments. But no. I don't hate them. In fact, I sing along to Justin Bieber. It's so much better to be indifferent than to hate. Because when you hate, you have to put this certain amount of energy and feeling to do so. I'm not gonna sacrifice myself for hating someone, it won't benefit me. I whine, I cry, I say the meanest things. But that doesn't accumulate to hate. It accumulates to what I feel. At that time, in that hour, on that day. And our views change. And it's not wrong for it to change. I like the band HIM because they make more than just quality music. When I first stumbled on them, Ville Valo was ugly as fuck. The first music video I saw of them was Join Me (In Death)- and oh, the androgyny. Gimme some credit, I was what, twelve, thirteen at that time? That's judgment. And I started liking Nightwish because Amaranth was a great song. I'm an Anette Era fan, and I respect Tarja. They're both great singers, but they're not of the same genre. Why judge? Because we're human. Then I started listening to k-pop when Secondary Three rolled along. Because why? Because Sorry, Sorry became an anthem to my class, along with 3OH!3's Don't Touch Me. And I've to admit, the only reason why I like Kim Heechul was because he was androgynous. When in real fact, I'm afraid to go near those kind of people. Because they're very unsure, and that makes me unsure. Then I stumble upon comments saying that, "G-Dragon is the best composer ever." And to me, people who say that have probably been living under a rock before k-pop. I like korean music. But in terms of being a good lyricist or composer, come on, they're so far off. That's like comparing Justin Bieber to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Difference. But then again, this is my judgment. No, I don't enjoy music from Slipknot, nor do I fancy too much the screaming of Dani Fiflth- but God, they're genius, talented people. But what is talent? That's left to be judged.

And I apply what is easier to comprehend to daily life. It's so easy to judge based on expressions, the sneaking corners of devious eyes and noise. So easy to judge. And yet, when I claim to hate someone, that person would turn out to be the nicest thing ever. I have friends like that, and some have become my closest and dearest. I hated them. I despised them. Because of what they did, how they acted, how they change. And somehow, I don't realize that I've changed. So it was only worthy of me to give people chances when others have given in my every woe. We can't trust word of mouth but we trust ourselves in judging body language. And by trusting that, we get all our facts mixed up. But we're human that way, and we find the best in people. Even though they seem to annoy you the hardest, how they never seem to take you seriously, the awkward moments we sometimes share. I hate those moments. But at the end of the day, I know that they've been keeping up with how annoying, loud and indifferent I could be about their feelings.
6Packs, I owe you.

I feel obligated. HAHA. I've been spending too much time on tumblr and abandoning blogspot. Nothing much has been happening, aside from someone getting engaged and another getting hitched. Too many people are getting married this season, and sadly, I don't think I can attend my aunt's wedding dinner. But last week's engagement party was a blast, I've to say that. Yeah, it was hella fun. I've gotten closer to people whom I previously thought was impossible to get close to. But alas, they're family and we have the same genes. So what I'm trying to say is that we're all awesome in our own respective, quirky way and we'll get along. Somehow.

I stole that.

Wow, I miss being on holiday. Nothing's really been going on, except for a couple misses. My cousin's getting engaged this coming Saturday and I can't wait to get together with the family again. It's always instances like this when I say what I've said, yet on the day itself, I feel that my legs are so heavy that I don't wanna go. This is why Hari Raya was invented. -Okay, I lie. But true to what I say, that's what happens every time. But I reflect and I get that, every time I come home from a family gathering, I feel happy, complete. And I realize that that's how strong family could be.

I had tuition earlier on in the week, and my eldest Uncle told me that he was going to Terengganu. Well, in his own words, it was, "I'm going to Terengganu to watch Ninja Turtle." I LOL-ed so hard. Get this, he's seventy, and with the tone of voice he spoke with, mygod, he rocks. I hope they have a safe trip, along with my cousin/tuition teacher who's doing humanitarian work in Cambodia.

HAHA, Cambodia. Doesn't that remind you of someone.

The outing with the chicks was way beyond awesome. This is probably the third 6packs official outing and we went to see Killers. Honestly, I could see why critics said that the movie lacked originality because it was as cliche as it could get. But it's a chick-flick and we are chicks. And plus, Ashton Kutcher was steaming up the screens. And that had a lasting effect on Hanisah as she transformed into Nyssa Kutcher on twitter. Which sucks, because everyone knows that he belongs to me and only me. 

Again I say, let the arguing commence.

I procrastinated so hard yesterday that it seemed as if I procrastinated my procrastination- ._. facebook group. But yeah. Plan was to finish up as much homework as possible and revise my chemistry. 1/4 of that happened as I started flipping like crazy through my Chem notes half an hour before I went to bed. The rest of the day, I wrote. Which I thoroughly enjoyed. I took the whole day to finish up what was left of the story I cliff-hanged. Actually, it was a oneshot and no, I didn't cliff-hanged it. It was just left from two months ago because I simply didn't have the time. I wanna commit to writing, but I find it so hard. Now I have the time- per se- and I'm bloody hell using it to the optimum. I'm done with it. And guess what; it's a Suju story.

You were probably expecting me to say that it was an original drabble or a Ville Valo. Hah, suck on that.

Wow, I think I got sucked into Italian hotness. You know, that dude that performed on Entertainment on Five? -Yeah. Super. Hot.